Stuff that isn't completely terrible.
I host this site on Google App Engine, because it is free and I am cheap. I previously used Digital Ocean, where I self-hosted mail, LAMP, and XMPP. I also use Azure for some of my projects.
I've previously built e-commerce sites with Shopify.
I self-host Gitea. Public projects get mirrored to GitHub and private ones go to Bitbucket.
I also use Fossil. It does everything, and varity is the spice of life.
I used Subversion in the past, and CVS in the further past.
Emacs. I use Org mode quite a bit.
I recently started using PHPStorm for work. It's ok.
OS X for desktop, Debian or OpenSUSE for servers.
I use Google Voice by way of Asterisk. Sometimes it even works.